We used to be strangers,
Then we became friends.
Now we are Besties,
Now we know, our friendship would never end.
We took the time to know each other,
More than we ever thought we could.
We learned to understand our thoughts,
Learned to hold on for all the bad and good.
We did get mad at times.
And at times, we did fight.
But those moments ended soon enough,
Making the good memories shine bright.
Even when we said something else,
We learned to know what we mean.
The knowledge that we have each other,
Gave us the strength to fight the unseen.
We learned to share our secrets,
Together, learned to laugh n cry.
Talking our heart out never felt easy,
But we did and didn't even have to try.
And then, time did make a lot of changes,
There was nothing we could do.
But what didn't change in all these years,
Is the friendship between me and you.
You were the Best friend I've ever had,
You still are the same to me.
And we will always have each other,
No matter how far we have to be.
The love we have for each other,
The way we always care,
Always grow stronger with time,
Like the friendship we share.
We will grow and we will change.
And as we move ahead, we will make new friends.
But no one would ever take your place,
No matter how time ascents.
So, thank you for what you did,
For what you still do.
For the crazy, lame and BEST ever Friend
That I have found in You. ♥
#Monolith-Verses
#BleedingHeartsPoetry
#ThePoetryofDA
#YoungButInspired
#poetry-book
#Rhyme-and-Reason
#Unknown-Artists-Club
#Live-Love-Write
`anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More
Sta.sh
ST = Stanza
L = Line
There is an issue that I can address before diving into a ST by ST review.
1. Meter:
- This is the amount of syllables per line. When writing rhyming poetry one needs to keep the meter consistent within each stanza. For example: ST 1 could have 4, 5, 6, 4; consistent around the 5 as it only goes one above or below. ST 2 could have a different meter, but as long as it is consistent that is fine.
Now, to the dissection:
ST 1:
Rhyme Scheme: abcb
Meter: 6, 5, 5, 10
- As you can see, the meter in the final line is way too long for the ST
- You start off with a simple rhyme scheme that you follow through most of the rest of the poem.
- L4 - 'would' should be 'will'
ST 2:
Meter: 9, 8, 8, 10
- your meter is consistent here, which is good. However, I would remove 'all' from L4 to enhance the flow
ST 3:
Meter: 6, 6, 9, 9
- here your meter starts to get wobbly again. The first two L and the last two are consistent with each other, but on the whole they aren't consistent with the whole ST
- L1 - 'did get mad' should be 'got mad'
- L2 - 'did fight' should be 'fought'
ST 4:
Meter: 8, 7, 9, 9
- This is much more consistent in meter
- L2 - 'mean' should be 'meant'
- L3 - 'have' should be 'had'
ST 5:
Meter: 7, 8, 10, 11
- Here your meter goes wonky again
- L2 - 'n' would be better as 'and'. It would not affect the meter if it was changed.
ST 6:
Meter: 10, 7, 9, 9
- You wobble a bit with the 7 syllable line, but then pick it up nicely at the end
- L1 - 'did make' should be 'made'
- L3 - 'didn't change' should be 'hasn't changed'
ST 7:
Meter: 9, 7, 8, 9
- good, consistent meter
ST 8:
Meter: 8, 6, 7, 6
- again, consistent meter
- L3 - 'grow' should be 'grows'
ST 9:
Rhyme Scheme: abcd
Meter: 7, 11, 9, 7
- here you forsake your rhyme, as 'friends' and 'ascents' don't rhyme.
- your meter also vanishes with the 11 syllable line
- L3 - 'would' should be 'will'
- L4 - 'ascents' doesn't seem to fit in here. It means to go up, as in the ascent of the balloon, and I am struggling to make sense of it in the way you have written the poem.
ST 10:
Rhyme Scheme: efgf
Meter: 7, 5, 10, 6
- Here you go back to your rhyme scheme
- your meter here is wonky again
Grammar:
You have a lot of issues with tense. I would suggest a re-read of your work before you post it, as often one can pick up small errors in that way.
Punctuation:
You use your punctuation well.
Overall:
J