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Literature Text
Complicated life, complicated ways..
Everyday we fight just for another day..
We live for the future..
We cling to the past..
And we never enjoy the present..
As long as it lasts.
We fall for those who'd never be ours..
And we spend sad and lonely hours.
We forget who love us,
We forget who really cares,
And run behind illusions
And all we find is tears.
We take a moment to judge others
But never admit that we're wrong
And we hurt others just to show
That we're the ones who are strong.
Complicated life, complicated ways,
But it's us who make it more complicated
With every passing day.
Everyday we fight just for another day..
We live for the future..
We cling to the past..
And we never enjoy the present..
As long as it lasts.
We fall for those who'd never be ours..
And we spend sad and lonely hours.
We forget who love us,
We forget who really cares,
And run behind illusions
And all we find is tears.
We take a moment to judge others
But never admit that we're wrong
And we hurt others just to show
That we're the ones who are strong.
Complicated life, complicated ways,
But it's us who make it more complicated
With every passing day.
Life is complicated. But the Truth is, we make it more complicated..
The photographed used was taken by me.
I know I can not ask for critique cause I do not have a premium membership. But I'd certainly request for a critique comment.
The questions I have:
Is the poem too long or too short? Are there any particular parts in need of expansion or shortening?
Does the rhyming add a positive impact? If not, how can I improve it?
Does the subject feel real enough or deliberate?
If you have any other thing to point out, you can always do that.
Thanks in advance for your feedback.
The photographed used was taken by me.
I know I can not ask for critique cause I do not have a premium membership. But I'd certainly request for a critique comment.
The questions I have:
Is the poem too long or too short? Are there any particular parts in need of expansion or shortening?
Does the rhyming add a positive impact? If not, how can I improve it?
Does the subject feel real enough or deliberate?
If you have any other thing to point out, you can always do that.
Thanks in advance for your feedback.
© 2011 - 2024 aeebee
Comments15
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Usually I don't like rhyming in poems but your use of words makes it sound a WAYYY better then a usual one and yes life is made very complicated by humans isn't it? Also another thing to point out maybe you could change the picture at the top of tangled pieces of colored string to represent the complications of life - Having the broken earth might be better if you were writing a POEM ABOUT broken earth.