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Literature Text
There are times..
Times that come too often these days
When the distance seems too much
Too much to cover only with thoughts
So much that even in a crowd of 'known's
I keep looking for your eyes..
Remembering how they'd light up
When they see me.
But knowing you are too far away,
I still feel you around.
Every time I look around, I see..
You teasing me,
About the silliest things
And the way I try to get angry,
Even though, in my heart, I just smile.
Knowing you are the only one
Who understands me this much..
It's something I don't want to explain..
Something that no one else would possibly believe.
And the bond that we call friendship
Crosses all the barriers, the distance.
And there are times..
Endless times..
That make me feel again and again..
That in spite of the distance,
We are a part of each other's world.
Times that come too often these days
When the distance seems too much
Too much to cover only with thoughts
So much that even in a crowd of 'known's
I keep looking for your eyes..
Remembering how they'd light up
When they see me.
But knowing you are too far away,
I still feel you around.
Every time I look around, I see..
You teasing me,
About the silliest things
And the way I try to get angry,
Even though, in my heart, I just smile.
Knowing you are the only one
Who understands me this much..
It's something I don't want to explain..
Something that no one else would possibly believe.
And the bond that we call friendship
Crosses all the barriers, the distance.
And there are times..
Endless times..
That make me feel again and again..
That in spite of the distance,
We are a part of each other's world.
Sooo I was not submitting anything lately because of all the hectic schedules.. finally posting something new..
I did not want to rhyme it.. and I do need some honest feedback about the poem -
The length of it, the choice of words, the flow and any other suggestion if possible.
And does the start and end seem contradictory??
This one is dedicated to all those who have friends across the world..
The image is NOT mine and I did not want to violate any copyright.
I hope you guys would like it.
<b>
I did not want to rhyme it.. and I do need some honest feedback about the poem -
The length of it, the choice of words, the flow and any other suggestion if possible.
And does the start and end seem contradictory??
This one is dedicated to all those who have friends across the world..
The image is NOT mine and I did not want to violate any copyright.
I hope you guys would like it.
<b> © 2011 - 2024 aeebee
Comments16
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I can feel the emotion of your piece and how it changes from the start to finish. I like how it starts off sad but as you are going through memories it gets happier and more optimistic. The lack of punctuation as stated in the critique above does make the flow hard to pick up on. I personally put pauses between the lines that have no punctuation. I'm here on behalf of 
because your piece is in the critique folder.
because your piece is in the critique folder.